Unified Theory of Everything Financial – Canadian Edition

by Mr. Cheap

Over on Marketwatch, Paul B. Farrell posted that ‘Dilbert’ deserves the economics Nobel Prize for his ‘Unified Theory of Everything Financial’.

As with most things Scott Adams writes, I think he’s actually half-serious, and with 129 words he puts together a pretty good plan (for the original, see the article).

In a blatant rip off, reeking of lack of material to post about, here’s the Canadian version:

  1. Make a will

  2. Pay off your credit cards

  3. Get term life insurance if you have a family to support

  4. Fund your RRSP to the maximum

  5. Buy a house if you want to live in a house and can afford it

  6. Put six months worth of expenses in a money-market account

  7. Take whatever money is left over and invest 70% in a stock index fund and 30% in a bond fund through any discount broker and never touch it until retirement

  8. If any of this confuses you, or you have something special going on (retirement, college planning, tax issues), hire a fee-based financial planner, not one who charges a percentage of your portfolio

Supposedly he originally wanted to publish it as a one page book, but when his publisher wouldn’t let him, he included it in “Dilbert and the Way of the Weasels” instead. Truth be told, I find it hard to argue with any part of it, probably over 90% of people would do better following this simple plan than whatever they’re doing now. I might switched the order of 5 & 6 and add “spend less than you earn” as #1. Disturbingly, as much as I think this makes sense, the only thing from his list I’ve done is #2 (I’ve never carried a balance on a credit card).

Any other suggestions for changes? Would you recommend this as advice to a friend who wanted to “start investing and become more financially savvy but didn’t know where to start”? Should we e-mail Stockholm?

NOTE: I realize that any unified theory would include Canada. Its called a joke you nerd! That’s right, walk away tough guy, walk away. (bloggers take note: that’s how you deal with imaginary hecklers)

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